Why You Keep Putting Off Your Own Goals

If you keep putting off your own goals, it often starts like this. You see a course you would love to take. Your first thought, “Will I actually finish it?”

A new opportunity comes up. You get excited and then immediately snuff it out when you remember the last application that is still in your drafts.

Someone asks about an idea you once talked about enthusiastically. You say, “I’ve been busy,” and change the subject.

Soon you start choosing only what you consider safe and manageable. The things you want most stay somewhere in the background.

Out of sight, out of mind, right? Not really.

There is a cost to putting off meaningful goals again and again. You are losing your reputation with yourself, and that informs everything.

When one unfinished goal becomes a judgment about you

There is a difference between saying, “I didn’t finish that,” and saying, “I’m someone who never finishes.”

The first describes an experience. You can look at what happened and learn from it.

The second follows you into your next attempt.

Now, even before you begin, you feel like you have something to prove.

That is a heavy expectation to bring to an application, a language lesson, or a blank page.

As someone who sees herself as dependable, this can feel confusing. After all, you are someone who follows through on responsibilities every day. This makes no sense.

You may find yourself asking, “Why is this so hard? Am I too old for this?”

It is a question worth exploring with careful curiosity.

What happens between wanting and doing?

In my coaching, I am interested in the moments between deciding to do something and giving up on it.

Perhaps you intended to update your professional profile, but thought, “I don’t know how to explain who I am now.”

Perhaps you wanted to contact someone about an opportunity, but imagined having to answer questions you did not feel ready for.

Perhaps you planned to practise a skill, learn a dance or paint, but expected yourself to pick up exactly where you left off years ago.

Each situation calls for a different kind of support. A broad judgment such as “I lack discipline” can hide the specific difficulty you could actually address.

Sometimes you need a clearer action step. Sometimes you need help, more time, or a plan that respects your current energy. Sometimes you need to give yourself permission to be a beginner again.

Next time you are stuck, try this

Choose one thing you still care about. Something you would genuinely like to move forward.

Then decide what a small, complete action would look like.

“Work on my career” is difficult to finish.

“Write three sentences about the work I would like to do next” has a clear end.

“Become fluent in Spanish” can feel enormous.

“Practise five sentences aloud after breakfast” is easy and it can even be fun.

Be specific enough that you will complete it in one shot.

Find a time that works.

When you are tempted to make it more impressive, pause. You are practising following through. Choose a step that is easy.

Take a moment to celebrate your action

You took action, and that matters, however small it may look.

This is where many capable women move the goalposts.

“It was only ten minutes.”

“I should have done more.”

“I still have such a long way to go.”

There may be more to do. But you made a commitment and acted on it. That is what builds self-trust.

In my coaching, I encourage clients to notice these moments, so you can remind yourself of this whenever an old doubt says, “You won’t do it anyway.”

Look at missteps with the curiosity of a scientist

A difficult day may interrupt your plan. You may miss a practice or postpone a task.

There is a lot you could learn from the day that you avoided your assigned task.

Being a scientist allows you to inquire if this is still meaningful to you.

If it is still a clear yes, decide by when you would be willing to take action on it, and schedule it in your calendar.

If it has been a long time and you are used to saying, “I never follow through,” try asking yourself:

What can I do in the next five minutes that will move me a step closer to my goal?

Move your energy, move your body and you get clarity.

You may yet discover that you are a doer, an amazing action taker after all.

If you would like support to move one meaningful goal forward, consider joining my FREE 5-Day MOVE Challenge. Email MOVE to [email protected], for details.